How to Manage Your Momo
by NightMist88
Summary: For all Momo owners out in the cold unfriendly world. This book will teach you how to cherish and make your Momo happy. Rated K just in case. Please review, this is my first fic!


**How to Manage Your Momo**

**Introduction**

If you are reading this book then you are in possession of a Momo. Momo is very special species and care is required daily. In these next 2000 chapters, you will learn how to control and tame your Momo. Just kidding, it's only 6 chapters. By the end of this book, you and your Momo will be friends for life, lovers, or even both, maybe…

**Chapter Your Momo**

First, you must find out if your Momo is genuine. Momos are very rare and it is most possible that you might have acquired a Harukaze "Bane" Kurobane or Inui Sadaharu. (I have no idea how that's possible though.) If so, I may write books about these two if you request it. Now the first characteristic of a Momo is the hair. They take great pride in keeping their hair very spikey. It is very possible that they would be found in the morning, using a lot of gel and a comb to keep it that way. Momos never dye their hair and is always the blackest of black. Next, most Momos are usually tall, about 5'ish and is one of taller members on the Seigaku team. The easiest way of all to identify your Momo is that he'll always have a smile on his face whether he is an idiotic grin or a "just-pleased-to-see-you" smile. An exception is when your Momo might encounter a Kaidoh. There is a lasting rivalry between those two so you should do your best to **not** let your Momo meet up with a Kaidoh. Results might be them trying to out-do each other that might result in injuries. Lastly, a Momo will always be in a good mood. He will try not to argue with you and keep you happy.

**Chapter Your Momo**

Momos are very good at expressing themselves. They love to smile and need plenty of affection. Momo is known as Seigaku's number one rascal. They really want to be liked by everyone and will prove it by his preference to be called "Momo-chan", even by freshmen and girls that are not close to him. The fan girl problem will be solved in Chapter 4. Occasionally, mostly when you're both staring out at the sunset, your Momo will get a dreamy look on his face. That means that he is probably thinking about something. If you poke him or something, he will blink once then look at you with a dazed expression. A second later, he will get his cute little grin like he just realized you were standing next to him. This is the best time to hug him. Kiss him if you're bold. After the hug/kiss, he might have some sort of smile on his face. Please refer back to Chapter 1 for that info. Here are the main signs and emotions to look for:

Happiness: Idiotic grin or "just-pleased-to-see-you" smile

Anger (Only shown when around someone who annoys him or a rival *cough-Kaidoh-cough*): A tick mark on his forehead, a vein pulsing, and a very high-pitched voice screaming: "**KAIDOH**!"

Sadness: Staring off into space, puppy-dog eyes1

Loneliness: Isolating himself from you

Looking For a Fight: Starts arguing with Kaidoh

Well, that's the basics. Let's move onto Chapter 3

**Chapter to Keep Your Momo Happy**

First off, Momos do not require many things to keep them happy. However, there are things that are needed very much. For feeding your Momo, his favorite foods are Shrimp Cutlet burgers, and Very Berry Coco Parfaits. It would also seem that they enjoy eating hamburgers with the Eiji and Ryoma models. A Momos's hobbies are listening to music and playing sensory games. His favorite class is Mathematics and his favorite color is red. Now you know what to buy for him as a birthday present. (BTW: His birthday is on the 23 of July.) A tennis racquet is also important. The Momo is an extremely athletic species and will get restless if held down too long. Thus said, a daily workout is needed every day. He might settle for another sport if you ask really nicely though. *cough-lacrosse-cough* What is your reward for sweating your skin off and perhaps breaking a limb? A boyfriend with well-toned and extremely good-looking body! Now that he's all toned and sweaty, (But still cute!) this might start a legion of fan girls2. Let's learn how to keep annoying females away from him in Chapter 4.

**Chapter to Keep Girls Away From Your Momo**

Your Momo's cute grin and body is a sure way of attracting girls like flies to honey. Now, unless you're a crazy axe-murderer and can fight off fifty fan girls in five minutes then use my tips. Once they know that your Momo has a girlfriend, that will drive away most of the girls. However, a few will remain and those are the ones you need to look out for. If you spray your Momo with skunk spray, you might eliminate most of the competition. You will have to deal with the smell but it is certainly worth it. If the girl is unintelligent, all you have to do is that you tell the girl that if she does not stop stalking your Momo, you'll hang her off the school roof. For the intelligent ones, all you have to do is get your Momo and have him tell her he's not interested. If she is a persistent and intelligent one, then have your Momo kiss you (FRENCHY!) in a public place such as a café that the fan girl likes to go to all the time. A last resort is to chase them off with a chainsaw3 *As I said, a last resort!*

**Chapter to Get Your Momo to do What You Want**

In all, just ask him nicely. He'll do it.

**Chapter Date With Your Momo**

Meet up with your Momo at your favorite theatre. There, watch a romance comedy or anything you both want to see. Next, go to your middle-class, not expensive and not a fast-food place, restaurant/café and enjoy a light meal. After that, walk to the street tennis courts and play a game of tennis. Make sure you digest first! If there is still time, watch the sunset and have him walk you home. Momos will never object to that! Be sure to have him kiss you goodnight.

**Conclusion**

Hopefully, you now have a perfect boyfriend or best friend. This might not take a lot of work. Thankfully, most Momos are hard working and loyal. They won't cheat one you or leave your sickbed if you're sick or your deathbed when you're…well…dying. You and your Momo are living happily ever after. Just a wee word of warning; DON'T YOU DARE HAND HIM BACK FOR A REFUND! THERE ARE NO REFUNDS!

*WARNING* Might lead to excessive nosebleeds and instant desire to cuddle the Momo. Please do not suffocate him.

There might be a desire to strangle the first fan girl you see, DON'T DO IT! It will be hard but your Momo will be depressed if you land a spot in jail.

AS I SAID, A LAST RESORT ONLY! *If you need help with torturing a fan girl because she has kidnapped your Momo, ask the Oshitari Yuushi model and his mistress/owner for assistance. They specialize in blackmail, psychological manipulation, and evil sadistic ways of torture.* (Oshitari is an evil sadistic genius. [A lovable one too!])


End file.
